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Please please please send me letters? I need to hear from my adoring public! Oh and this section is an archive. The lastest letters will be in the "New Links" section.

June 4, 2005, 7:50 p.m.

Good ol' Tim was kind enough to send another missive off to the Phallic Master:

Check out this month's edition of Esquire. A blog gives a hint as to what's found in one of that mag's feature articles:

Click on this & scroll down....

"In Esquire, Ewan McGregor's penis is lionized as a 'man-root', an 'uncut link of Scottish sausage', and an 'anaconda'-- all in the same sentence. You'd almost think you were reading Details."

I saw the article, and the writer, who describes McGregor as "impressive", seems to agree with you about the way that guy should be rated. Speaking of which, you wrote awhile back on your site:

"Taking a peek at the McGregor poll, it looks like 'average' is winning out. Maybe you were right all along, Tim, but then why so many who think he's hung? Good question, don't you think? Maybe it's all relative?"

Hey, I'll give you some credit by saying you're reading your survey too narrowly, and that your description of McGregor several months ago, as it turns out, probably is more accurate than I realized at the time.

If you add together the 29% who voted for "above average length" and the 24% who say "hung", that's a total of 53%. The 35% who describe McGregor as "average" combined with the 10% who think he's either "mini" or "below" totals 45%. So that's 53% to 45%. Still close, and not a slam dunk either way, but, as is true of the writer at Esquire, it looks like a majority agree with you.

BTW, I saw on, which sampled over 3,000 guys, that 4.3" flaccid reaches the 80 percentile mark, meaning only 20% of guys are above that point, while 4.7" moves someone all the way up to the 90 percentile level.

I'd estimate that McGregor is closer to 4.7" than, say, 3.7", so again I'll have to give you credit for describing him more realistically than I have.



Thanks for the info, Tim. The more I think about it, the closer I come to the conclusion that all success in life is based on penis size. How else to explain Ewan McGregor?

But seriously, none of us really know what we'd look like naked on 35mm film. And depending on different angles and lighting, we could look different still. It's a tough call to measure something through a movie screen. That's why I'm going to start a petition to measure McGregor's penis. Maybe we can get it to Congress and get some legislation passed. McGregor, you can't hide your lightsaber from my ruler for long! Mark my words, McGregor! I'll measure your costar, and when I do, the world will know the truth. MCGREGOR!!

February 19, 3:02 a.m.

Tim! Hey, nice to hear from you again:

Based on comments in past years (such as on Howard Stern's show) about McGregor and Lee, this is closer to the size of what I originally thought everyone was making a big commotion about:

Yeah, that guy is pretty big. I don't believe for an instant that he's really 12" like he brags, but yeah, bigger than McGregor. Taking a peek at the McGregor poll, it looks like "average" is winning out. Maybe you were right all along, Tim, but then why so many who think he's hung? Good question, don't you think? Maybe it's all relative? Obviously we Internet porn junkies have seen a wide variety of erect penises. But the average woman? Maybe she hasn't had that much experience. And the average guy that doesn't look at porn? He has almost no experience. Also, it's tough to jusdge sizes from pictures. You can judge proportion, but not actual size. I think McGregor is above average - not by a lot but still above. This guy, Martinez, definitely big.

Another letter from Tim:

This is a forum that goes on and on (for over 70 pages) about "celebrity endowments"----btw, I quickly scanned through it and saw 2 different postings about Ewan McGregor from people who say his size is merely so-so:

I also came across these 2 links posted in the above forum and thought you'd find them relevant to your LPSG web page:

All great links, Tim, especially that last one about Michealangelo's David. Interesting stuff. I have read that the ancient Greeks, from whom the Renaissance artists copied, liked to depict men as they were about to go into battle - shrunken penis and all. So David is small. Science has proven it.

January 24, 2004, 12:25 a.m.

More letters for the Phallic Master:

Hi Phallic Master,

Can you please tell me what it takes to get polls onto your survey page rather than just the front page?


Everything, just about, starts out in the "New Links" section at the main address ( That's the section you're reading right now, BTW.

Eventually, all the new links (including surveys) will make it into the main directory. (If they don't disappear from the web entirely.)

Surveys will eventually make it onto the "Surveys" page ( as long as they still exist.

Right now I intend to change the surveys in this section just as often as I make (or am submitted) new surveys. If you want to submit something, and I like it, it'll start out in the "New Links" section. This is a good way to start a survey because I believe this to be the most popular section of my site. Then, when I get a new survey, I'll send the old one to the "Surveys" page to live out the rest of its days.

If you have a survey, poll, or study, and it's no longer active (that is, it's not collecting new data) I'll post its link in this section, but I won't put it into one of those cute boxes up on top. Like all the other "New Links" links, as soon as it's eaten by the bottom of the screen, I'll put it into the main directory. It'll take about a month. Again, I believe this is in your best interest since this is probably the most popular section of the site.

In other words, if you got it, send it. Don't bogart those links!

January 20, 2004, 8:32 p.m.

I got an interesting email today:

my thing is only5in

Wow, fascinating. Keep those emails coming!

January 9, 2004, 11:57 p.m.

I got a sweet little note from the webmaster of "Big Cock Picture Traders". Check this shit out:

Hi Phallic Master,

I appear to be getting a good few hits off your site these days for :-


Although I have your link on my exchange page is their anything further I can do to provide you with the return links. If you can provide me with a quick bio of your good site (a bit lazy to do it myself and who knows if I could do it justice) I will get you a higher profile say on my main menu or main page.



Thanks for the offer, Pink. I really like the site. It's got mostly everything you could ever want out of a big cock site.

I'm going to say "The Penis Size Links List is the ultimate guide to penis size. Any information you may want is linked to from this comprehensive listing. Pictures, boards, celebrity secrets and more are all indexed in this massive tool. The best thing? It's entirely free!" Yup, I think that does it.

I got a letter from an email I didn't recognize promoting an interesting event:

Subject: WORLD GLBT EVENTS CALENDAR: Major Bisexual North American EVENT (2005)

RE: WORLD MAJOR GLBT EVENTS = A Major Bisexual North American EVENT (2005)



Annual Bi Men's Getaway Weekend & Conference - 2005


PLACE: Downtown Las Vegas, Nevada USA - for MEN ONLY

DATES: March 31 to April 4, 2005


Thank you! "Mac" McCloud, Founder/President, Bi Men Network

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Bi MEN NETWORK -

Uhhhhhhh. Okay, so you guys think I'm bi? That would explain a lot. On the other hand, is 3 months enough notice (that was sarcasm). Anyway, thanks for considering the PSLL when it comes to issuing your press releases. As you can see, I really don't mind reprinting them.

December 21, 2004, 2:07 p.m.

I get all sorts of computer-generated emails asking for a link-exchange. Usually, the directory is a sad little computer-generated job hiding in the back woods of their main site. The linking is strictly done for a Google ranking since I can't imagine such hodgepodge, link to anything directories being useful. Well yesterday I get this letter:


I came across your site and have just added to my resource directory which is highly relevant to your website.

You can find your listing here - Adult Cow Links List

I would like to become link partners with you...

I will keep your site listed on my site if you link to my site from yours. If you are interested in this mutually beneficial link partnership, you can get linking instructions for my site at

Please, just let me know where you've placed my link.

Looking forward to a great relationship,


PS. I think you've done a great job with your site :)

I thought at first that this was a computer generated letter, but then I go to the site and I find one of the weirdest directories my mouse has ever navigated. I'm still at a loss in explaining this site. It's got a little of the weird single-mindedness of the PSLL, but then is somehow much more expansive. Whatever it is, it's genius. Thank you for the compliment. I'm looking forward to a great relationship too.

December 15, 2004, 10:41 p.m.

I think it's time to retire the McGregor Poll to the Surveys section. Why? Because I got another awesome poll submission! Check out this letter:

Comprehensive Size Poll: For Women Only

This one polls women on level of enjoyment of sex compared to their size preference. I suspect that women who prefer smaller units, on average, like sex less - we'll see. . . . please post the link!



Thanks Anon! You're a heck of a guy...girl? And your poll kicks major ass. I can't wait to see the results. Everyone please vote!

Just in time too, because Tim has written in again to sum up the McGregor poll:

I saw your link to the article about Tommy Lee, where he's quoted as saying, "(I realised I had a large penis) when I started f**kin' around with porno stars. 'Cause they see a lot of d**k. That's their job, right? So they see a lot."

Here's everyone's class assignment for the day.

Check out this page...

...and then write a report explaining why you think Tommy Lee deserves the hype or not.

I remember Howard Stern and his sidekick Robin, several years ago, after watching Lee's and Pamela's famous video, raving about Tommy's dick size. I thought at the time, damn, based on what people like those two are saying, if I ever get to see what they're talking about, I imagine Tommy Lee is going to remind me something out of a John Holmes video. I've yet to see the Lee's tape, but judging from the photos, OK, yea, Tommy definitely isn't small, at least based on that one photo taken in the car. But judging from the hype he's gotten, is he and his enthusiastic band of eyewitnesses another case of (although less so) Ewan McGregor Cheering? However, I'll admit that when some of them include no less than porno stars, they're probably more credible or accurate than Ewan's band of fans that I'd guess includes a lot more inexperienced girls.

Meanwhile, I'm still not sure about the average person's impression of McGregor, because when I read comments like this from one of his fellow actors...

Click me!

...I realize size is altogether in the eye of the beholder, and what's big, average or small is all relative.

I notice your poll on McGregor shows an almost even divide between those who think he's average or below and those who thinks he's above average or hung. And I'm assuming everyone is judging him based on what he's shown in movies, and what they themselves have seen, and NOT based solely on what they've read about him. And I hope when they're rating him as SM, MED or LG, they're not mixing up their comparison points, meaning they're not confusing soft size for hard size and visa versa. What's interesting is that the votes for McGregor's theoretical erect size indicate a larger total percentage of people place him above the commonly used male average of 6.5 inches.

Along with your Bush vs Kerry poll of who's bigger, the McGregor survey reminds me of the way people voted in November, and the flip flopping they did in opinion polls, in which the outcome of their feedback was close to the 50% margin of either yes or no.



Well, Tim, I think your analysis of the McGregor poll is correct. It looks like he fell right around the middle. People maybe thought he was a tad bigger than average, but overall he got average votes. It could be a perfect bell curve with a little above average at the peak.

If we go with the peak of the bell, Ewan Mcgregor's schlong is 7 inches long and maybe 5 1/2 inches around. Not too shabby. But no bigfoot in the underroos. Most people seem to think that he's above average so I think it's safe to say that that size is above average. Almost any statistic would agree.

But now you bring up Tommy Lee. Okay, I'll be working on that poll. But you must watch the video! You get to see it in all its glory then. Watching him walk around with an erection, you really get a sense of the size of that thing. Fittingly enough, Pam Anderson does seem to have a large sized vagina to boot. But that's just me. There's only one way to solve this problem...a poll is coming.

November 22, 2004, 11:52 a.m.

There was a great site up for awhile run by a woman, Danielle, called My Friend's Place. Well, she wrote to me recently:

Hi PhallicMaster

A couple of days ago I had the unfortunate experience of my website going down. I don't know if this is just a server error or the webhost has pulled the plug.

I have restored the main parts of the site elsewhere, so please can you change the reciprocal link to the domain



The site is great and I hope everyone goes and checks it out. Thanks Danielle for all the hard work!

November 14, 2004, 3:24 p.m.

More letters from Tim:

When you say "is this what we've come down to, a country hopelessly split into two political spheres?", I grin and think, yea, this topic about McGregor is like arguing over the size (big or small?) of Iraqi WMD stockpiles, national deficits and healthcare bills. LOL

Check this message board out:

Even though the "Pillow Book" was released several years ago, there are still people out there clashing over whether McGregor is large or not. Two of the debaters at rottentomatoes are women, which is worth noting because they give a feminine perspective on whether Ewan is more AVERAGE than hung. Hey, looks like they agree with me! And I swear I don't know them, nor have I offered bribes to anyone or tried stealing ballots marked in favor of "big."

I will say, however, that some people are going to think your new sponsor and my giving a link to a portion of their site in my last email is too much to be merely coincidental. Damn, if I didn't know better I'd swear you set me up to give free publicity to the folks at gunnerworld. Echoes of Haliburton or Swift navy boats?! haha.

As for "two political spheres," wasn't there lots of talk about politician's gay daughters and redefining marriage during the past few weeks? That leads me to ask: Is it gay for me to wonder why people think Ewan McGregor is big, average or small? No surprise, therefore, that I came across this on the net:

Q. Is it gay to think a man is good looking?

A. ....To say that Ewan a good-looking individual would not be gay if a girl asked you, "Do you think he's cute?" However, to say, "He's cute because he has great eyes and a cute smile," that's gay...

Q. Interesting that you 'randomly' selected Ewan McGregor, who has a reputation for pulling out his HUGE COCK onscreen in films such as 'The Pillow Book' and 'Velvet Goldmine'...

A. ...and when I selected him RANDOMLY, not 'randomly,' I have not only NOT SEEN "The Pillow Book" and "Velvet Goldmine," but have also NEVER HEARD OF THOSE MOVIES. However, you, Mister Pillow-Biter, apparently have. So, Captain Knobglobber, exactly how HUGE is Ewan McGregor's deal?

Q. IS the guy who asked this question "Q. Interesting that you 'randomly' selected Ewan McGregor, who has a reputation for pulling out his HUGE COCK onscreen in films such as 'The Pillow Book' and 'Velvet Goldmine'..." gay?

A. Well, you be the judge... he knows the names of the movies that Ewan McGregor pulls out his cock. Which, by his account, is "HUGE." Do YOU know how big Ewan's crank is? But HE does... hmmm...


Uh, er, I guess it's not too gay dealing with this subject because yesterday's 20/20 show on ABC-TV covered the topic of sexuality and in the portion about "does size matter?," the PhD sexpert they interviewed said nerve endings in women's vaginas are deeper than commonly believed and that dick length and width do, in fact, affect the quality of sex.

First of all, it was just a coincidence that I got a new sponsor that happened to be linked to by Tim's last letter and... Okay you got me. What actually happened was Tim found a great site that I thought I could make some money off of. So I signed up for their program. Tim, you're shaping up to be my most lucrative contributor.

Let me ask this question: Is it gay to make a site totally devoted to the various sizes of dick in the world? No wait, I take that back. I don't want to know the answer!

I saw that episode of "20/20" too! Every now and then I see something in the media and I think, hey, are they one of my fans? Have they visited my site before? But then I remember people have been talking about penis size since there have been penises. Damn it. Wait a sec, I got an idea, how about I claim that the PSLL is the reason penis size is discussed at all? Before the PSLL, no one cared and now, bang! Yeah, I'm sure we can get people to believe that.

Hey Tim, it looks like people are almost evenly split in the McGregor poll. I'm afraid that we might have to stop discussing this issue because IT'S TEARING US APART! I don't want to wake up one day and find that there's no more America just because we can't agree on how big McGregor is! Really there's only one solution. McGregor? Do you hear me McGregor? You have to allow someone to measure your erect penis in your next movie. Call it "Measuring McGregor's Penis". It'll be like the "Forest Gump" of penis measuring movies. (I'm sure it'll be ten times less boring than "The Pillow Book". "The Pillow Book", a film that begs you to push the fast forward button. No, make that pistol whips you into pressing the fast forward button.)

November 5, 2004, 7:41 p.m.

Tim has sent in his response:

Thanks for the poll about McGregor, PM.

I didn't plan to make this topic go on and on with all my emailing, but I'm honestly puzzled by the way people judge a guy's dick size. So much so, in fact, that even though I know my level of curiousity seems to be now just one step below OCD, I've again gone through the web (including visiting a gay/bi site called gunnerworld) to get more feedback for myself----and to determine whose eyesight is more reliable---and in order to reply to your comments.

When you say "I don't think he's huge, but he ain't small," that to me means AVERAGE, or the midpoint between "huge" and "small"! In comparison, when I read comments where words like "big," "huge" or "massive" have been used to describe McGregor, I honestly thought that meant he was going to be SOMEWHAT more like this, or closer to what I recall seeing in a John Holmes porno film, mainly a scene where Holmes seemed to be semi or totally soft: [Note from the Phallic Master, if you want to sign up to, please come back to the PSLL after clicking the above link and click on the banner above. That way I get a referral credit and you pay the same price. Thanks.]

Or if not the guy above, then how about even someone like Charles, seen at the web site mentioned in the email from Danielle and just posted at PSL? Charles would seem more deserving of the praise given to McGregor over the past several years:

Danielle's pic post

And when you write "Maybe Tim you have to face facts and admit that you have an enormous schlong," I'll say if that's true, then Brad Pitt therefore has to be described as semi-enormous:

Pitt 1

Pitt 2

Is this what we've come down to? A country hopelessly split into two political spheres?: Those who think McGregor is hung and those who don't? What will become of America? Can the Republic stand?

Tim, you're using dirty tricks in an attempt to sway the McGregor vote! You're setting up a straw man argument! McGregor is not Pitt!

In all seriousness, I never thought Pitt was small, but I never thought he was huge. Now Pitt looks average to me. The thing about McGregor is you get a real good look at him in "The Pillow Book" and he's totally soft. At least it seems so. Pitt could be a little tumescent in those pics. When it comes to Gunner, yeah he's huge, but he's also semi-erect in all his shots. At least that's what I want to think.

McGregor isn't a freak of nature like Gunner, but I don't think anyone will ever say McGregor is lacking in the penis department. I don't think you could say that of Pitt either but Pitt's not going to be accused of being large.

Anyway, as you can see by the poll numbers, it looks like people mostly think McGregor is above average. But, Tim, you're right about McGregor being within a completely normal range. By no means is he a freak of nature like Holmes or Gunner.

I never thought I'd be working on this site four years after its creation. I never thought I'd become the world's foremost penis-size expert. (Okay, that's a self-made title. I admit it.) You never know where life is going to take you.

November 4, 2004

Tim has sent me a response. I hope everyone's taking the McGregor poll. It occurs to me that I missed a question. I should have asked if he was of average width, or smaller, or larger. Oh well. It's a tough question for people to answer anyway. No wonder I didn't think of it in the first place. Tim's latest response:

One of the reasons I still can't figure out why so many people are impressed by Ewan McGregor's size is because of things like the article below about Brad Pitt. OK, based on that article, yea, I did some more web searching to figure out whether it was me or others who were seeing the world through a fog, but I have to admit I ran across even more comments that show people are impressed by McGregor's dick, one using no less than the word "massive." I still want to say HUH? But, then again, I also gotta say that a sentence in a review of Pillow Book, written by a woman who saw the film with her husband, who exclaims "Holy Cow! Look at the size of that thing!", describes a reaction that's NOT atypical:

Her review relates to what was written in a newsgroup (stored in google's archives) several years ago:

Someone fill me in on this movie... all I've heard about it was one comment from my friend's very conservative father. he said "That Ewan McGregor's got the biggest goddamn penis I have ever seen." I'm still not sure if that means he liked it or hated it.


Maybe my eyes aren't focusing correctly....

Pitt's little pitt

....but I don't think Pitt is all that MUCH smaller than McGregor. Yet I've read a few more comments on the net about Pitt's nude pics indicating that he's "small." IOW, if he's small, than is McGregor really big? (I'm guessing "P-s" is the newspaper's censored way of saying "penis")

(11-4) New York Daily News: Last summer when they were shooting "Ocean's Twelve" in Italy, Pitt told the Italian crew that Clooney wanted to be addressed only by his character's name, Danny Ocean. When the confused Clooney caught on, he retaliated after the film's wrap in Los Angeles.

"Brad was sitting in his car and George kind of tapped the car with his hand and said 'All right, take care,'" Matt Damon tells Cosmopolitan. "When he pulled his hand away, he's left a bumper sticker that read 'Small P-s Onboard.' So Brad drove through rush-hour traffic in L.A. with it, and all these people were looking at him and waving."


I don't know Tim. Last I checked the McGregor poll people pretty much agreed with me. I don't think he's huge, but he ain't small. Hopefully we'll get a ton of people to take the poll and we'll see what humanity thinks. Maybe Tim you have to face facts and admit that you have an enormous schlong. Compared to me, and I'm sure most guys, McGregor looks pretty good. I'm sure that guys in "The Pillow Book" weren't carefully chosen for coming under the McGregor bar. But then again, could it be? We need some inside info on "The Pillow Book" dammit!

Brad Pitt brings up another question. I'm not sure if we should have a poll on him since the shots of his penis are so few and far in between. For those who haven't taken the McGregor poll because you haven't seen Mac naked, go rent "The Pillow Book". Afterward, come back and take the poll. There. You have your homework assignment.

As soon as the full election results are in I'll do an analysis in comparison to my poll up above. Then I'll move the McGregor poll into it's place. I think it's a good idea to have a "featured poll". That's where it'll go. And maybe there'll be another link in the "Surveys" section.

November 4, 2004

Dear Webmaster.

I have a visitor submitted penis pics website which is proving to be very popular. It about everything to do with the penis. Size, shape, penis pride, you name it the site can be whatever paricipants want it to be.

I have already placed your button on my page as requested.

My site details are.

My Best Friend



November 3, 2004

Here's a response from Tim:

You probably can relate to what this film critic said about McGregor and "Pillow Book":

If you scroll down to the page's message board, you'll see a letter from someone named Raj. I can relate to his opinion about the size issue, whereas some of the replies to his comment are closer to yours.

Would be nice if your posting the email about McGregor on your web page generates some other comments and opinons. I still feel like we're seeing totally different people, or that my eyesight and your eyesight are a mile apart, so I'd like to read as many viewpoints as possible about the topic.

DAMN YOU MCGREGOR! I blame you for this empirical dilemma. You can't show a penis to the world and then not give the measurements! It's inhumane! If you'd like to email me, and get in on this discussion, please send your shiznit to Otherwise, we have to resort to a poll. I hate to do it (yeah right) but here's the poll. Come on everyone, let's get to the bottom of Ewan's business so that Tim and I can sleep at night.

October 26, 2004
The dates in this section refer to when I posted these emails. For some reason, I got a lot one week.

First of all, thanks for your penissizelinks page. It really helps answer various questions about the male member.

You seem to be pretty knowledgeable about the topic of a guy's size, so maybe you can help me with this question: Does actor Ewan McGregor deserve all the hype he's been getting over the past several years? I notice you even have several recent links that deal with McGregor, and one in particular is labeled "Colin Farrel isn't as big as Ewan McGregor, but then again, who is?"

I googled "McGregor" (with words like "hung" or "endowed") and I'm amazed at how much good feedback he's been getting regarding his dick size. However, I have come across a few observers who are skeptics or naysayers, but I've seen far more people describing him as "hung", "endowed", "blessed", etc, with one person going so far as to say the Irish actor is right up there with John Holmes.

This got me so intrigued by McGregor's reputation, I made an effort to rent the movie "Pillow Book" today. The film is pretty bad IMHO, and there are a variety of naked guys (and one woman) in it. McGregor certainly bares all in a few key scenes, and now, after watching him and the movie in general (btw, a rather obese actor in that movie, who was the "American", was noticeably underendowed), I want to ask....

Do you think some of the hype about him is because he's practically the only non-X-rated actor to allow himself to be seen nude in several films?

Is any person caught on film and shown on a movie theater's screen going to automatically be perceived as big?-----and now that porno theaters are almost non-existent, most X rated movies will be seen on TV screens via VCR or DVDs.

Do you think many of the people who are judging him have never seen a good sampling of porno films --- certainly ones that John Holmes or Ron Jeremy, etc, starred in --- or the type of "hung" photos you have links to on your web page?

If you can give me your own take on Ewan McGregor, I'd appreciate it. Thanks


And my response:

Thanks for the great letter. Do you mind if I post it on my site?

After watching "The Pillow Book" and other various McGregor penis vehicles, I've decided that McGregor is way above average in the size department.

In "The Pillow Book" for instance, McGregor is not the only maked man in the movie, but he's got the biggest flaccid penis. The guy looks huge soft, in my opinion. Perhaps he's not a freak of nature like John Holmes, but he may be close.

As far as I can tell, he's totally soft in the movie, but he puts all the other guys to shame. Is it any wonder he's the chosen one in that film? I've seen enough porn to be able to judge someone's erect size from their flaccid state (believe me, a skill I never thought I'd acquire), and I'd put McGregor around the eight-inch mark. Pretty damn big, in my opinion. Especially for someone who doesn't need to be big. I mean, come on! He's a movie star. Does he have to be hung too?

Take into consideration as well the fact that McGregor LOVES to show his McCock off. It seems like he'll act in any movie that allows him to flop around naked. He's proud of his McDick. And, as far as I can tell, for good reason. Rest assured, I hate that guy. He's got everything a guy could ever want in the world. McGregor is the proof to the theoroem, "Life's Not Fair".

McGregor makes me sick. But yeah, in answer to your question, yes, he's hung. The thing about porno is that you very rarely see someone's cock completely soft, unexcited in other words. In McGregor's parts, he's totally soft - making it hard to compare him to porno actors.

Maybe in the future I'll try to find some McGregor pics. Maybe we need an interview with a McGregor woman.

Thanks for your letter.


The Phallic Master

McGregor! You're the bane of my existence!

Tim wrote me back:

As for your opinion of McGregor, I'm kind of surprised. I watched the Pillow Book and repeatedly re-ran and even froze the scenes where he bares all. Granted, I had a video copy instead of a DVD so the freeze frame images weren't the best, but I still didn't think he was noticeably endowed, certainly not compared with some of the guys I've seen on links at your site.

Yea, I'll agree that Ewan isn't small, and compared with some of the other guys in the movie he at least has a bit of something down there. But to me that's a far cry from those who want to describe him as similar to a John Holmes or "hung like a horse" (I even saw that description of him on some web site during a google search). But I will say you're impression of him is not uncommon, since, again, many of the comments I came across about Ewan's dick also include words like "large" and "endowed."

However, I doubted the objectivity of many of those various descriptions because I thought they were from inexperienced teenage girls, or Ewan fans (where no one is allowed to be anything but thrilled or positive towards the object of their attention). I even wondered whether some of McGregor's press & PR flaks were secretly trying to generate excitement about their client by posting comments here and there during the past few years on the net.

I did come across one message board review of the Pillow Book and the person said that Ewan was the only naked caucasian in the movie. WRONG. The second guy who is shown bare was white (a middle-aged guy who's lying conked out on the girl's bed), and there were 2 blond haired guys caught on film in a later sequence (to me, their size looked not much less than McGregor's). And then there was an overweight, yet small crotched, white guy, the one (and I still didn't understand the scene) who's naked and running around the warehouse, which prompts the Japanese girl to enter the room with disgust, and say "You Americans always say you have nothing to hide!", grabs the washcloth the guy is using to cover himself, looks at his groin and sneers "And I can see why!"

The big (in terms of weight and height) sumo guy near the end of the movie is also kind of small, and if someone like that is used as a comparison point to a guy like McGregor, then, OK, the actor famous for whipping it out is large. But I can't help thinking that's like a 5'3" guy looking at a guy who's 5'7" and thinking, WOW, dude, you're tall! IOW, I cringe when I think of the reaction the 5'3" guy will have when dealing with an NBA sports star.

The topic of how guys perceive one another's penis size has surprised me so much that I've been surfing the web for photos to sort things out. I used to think my impression of what was big, average and small was common to most other people out there, guys in particular. But your comments and a really large variety of descriptions similar to yours (found on the net) about Ewan McGregor have made me very curious and even quite puzzled, so much so that I feel like a kid who's just fallen off the turnip truck.

If you visit the following 2 sites, don't you end up wanting to describe McGregor not so much as "hung" as maybe less modest in size? And if you're using Sylvester Stallone or some model/actor named Jesse Jardine (singled out because he is noticeably uncut like Ewan is and clearly quite flaccid too) as a point of comparison, wouldn't you say they're at least as well endowed as McGregor is, if not more so than? If so, doesn't this suggest the Welsh actor's size really isn't too exceptional or uncommon?

Link 1

Link 2

One of the 4 or 5 comments I found via google that didn't rave about McGregor's dick size included this sentence from the Hollywood Elsewhere column by Jeffrey Wells----who in another column saw a film that contained frontal nude shots of actor Cillian Murphy, who Wells described as "small".

Link 3

"There is, trust me, nothing spectacular about Ewan McGregor's "light saber" (a term provided by a reporter for the NEW YORK POST) as it appears in his latest film, YOUNG ADAM. I mean, it's okay but so what. Ewan is not Cillian Murphy, and he's not Willem Dafoe either. His schtugel is viewable for two or three seconds, if that, and barely worth mentioning."


I hope you don't mind my again raising questions about this to you, but because you run a penis size page and because I don't think you're some inexperienced, naive-as-the-driven-snow type of guy, I value your opinion more than others, particularly those whose awareness of male anatomy and sexuality is like that of a teen-age or pre-teen newbie (male or female)!



From now on, starting with Tim's great letters, I'm going to answer all letters right here on the site. Okay, so Tim, I'm sorry I haven't got back to you yet, but here's my response:

Okay, I'll admit that McGregor isn't huge, I already did. But I do think he's above average. Even on your first link, he looks bigger soft than everyone else.

The thing about soft size is that it's highly variable. You don't really get a sense of erect size unless you see the subject in various states in various conditions. (God, I sound like an expert. Dammit, I guess I am. My life-long dream come true. Not really.)

In "The Pillow Book" you get McGregor in all sorts of positions and all sorts of settings and you really get to see him. His size never gets smaller than what you see at link number one. And his soft size is way above average at link one. So in conclusion, McGregor is larger than average.

And if McGregor isn't larger than average, then how do you explain his need to show off all the time? He's gotta be big. I'm sure he'd do a scene erect except that then it'd be a porno.

McGregor isn't exceptionally large, but he's bigger than most guys, I'd guess. Yeah, that model you link to is exceptionally large it seems. Let me put it this way: McGregor is big enough to make me hate him.

It's possible McGregor isn't big erect. The only way we'll ever know is if we see him erect which probably isn't going to happen. Unless... Are there any adventurous female journalists out there?

The Phallic Master


Thanks for your site, very entertaining. I've been hanging out at "lovescelebrities", the Yahoo group for celebrity size queen info. I started putting together a list of mainstream movies and TV shows which contain penis size references (although, given the specific interests of the lovescelebrities group I have confined the list so far to comments made by female characters).

Given your preeminence in size matters, I thought you might have some interest in checking out the list. I'm trying to make it as complete as possible, and I hoped that you might know of links to relevant info.

Right now I'm hosting the list in the files section of the Yahoo group. If you think it's worthwhile, perhaps we can make a link to it on your site?


- S

"Size Matters" Moments in Hollywood History

  1. Ally McBeal S1, E12, "Cro-Magnon Man"-Calista Flockhart falls for a nude model with a huge penis. (story continued in Episodes 13 and 21).
  2. Ally McBeal S4, E1, "Sex, Lies and Second Thoughts"-Ally breaks up with a man because he has a tiny penis, "like a pop-up chicken thermometer".
  3. American Beauty-Mena Suvari questions her friend about the size of her boyfriend's dick.
  4. Bedazzled-Frances O'Conner coos to a 7 foot basketball player about how big he is, but makes a quick exit when his towel drops, revealing his small dick.
  5. Beyond Desire-Kari Wuhrer falls for a guy with a big dick.
  6. Boogie Nights-Various females comment on Dirk's manhood.
  7. Broadcast Bombshells-A guy drops his pants in front of Amy Lynn Baxter and she laughs and mocks him about his size.
  8. Burning Annie -Sara Downing: "As if a fast car can ever make up for a small dick".
  9. Charlie's Angels (deleted scene)-Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore joke about a guy's small penis.
  10. Charmed S1/E8 "The Truth is Out There and it Hurts"-Holly Marie Combs opines that her new boss is so mean, he "must have a really small penis".
  11. Dawson's Creek (Pilot)-Katie Holmes asks Michelle Williams if she's a size queen.
  12. Denial (Something About Sex)-various comments.
  13. Dream Lover-Mädchen Amick confesses that's she's cheated on her husband with a guy who has a"huge cock".
  14. Foxy Brown-Pam Grier makes fun of "little dicked white guys".
  15. Gloria-Sharon Stone talks about cock size with a little boy
  16. Hot Blooded (aka Red Blooded)-Kari Wuhrer makes the "small dick" sign to a guy.
  17. Human Nature-Patricia Arquette leaves her "tiny penis" boyfriend for a well hung ape-man.
  18. I Love Trouble-Julia Roberts tells a guy named Peter that she named her dog,"Little Dick", after him.
  19. Love & Sex-Famke Janssen asks a man who's taking her virginity if he's smaller than most guys.
  20. Maid in Manhattan-Jennifer Lopez beams when she talks about the size of her new lover's penis.
  21. Moulin Rouge-Nicole Kidman: jokes that Ewan Mcgregor is "big".
  22. Nightmare on Elm St. 4-Brooke Theiss tells a guy she bets he suffers from "penis envy".
  23. Notting Hill-Julia Roberts insults some guys about their probable "peanut sized" dicks.
  24. Old School-Leah Remini mocks a streaker's dick size.
  25. Pink Cadillac-Bernadette Peters mocks a flasher about his small cock.
  26. Porky's- A character named"Meat".
  27. Raging Bull-Cathy Moriarity tells DeNiro that she slept with his brother & that his dick is bigger than DeNiro's.
  28. Sex and the City-Mr.Big storyline.
  29. Sex and the City S2, E18, "Ex and the City"-This time it's a dick that's too big.
  30. Sex and the City S2, E2,"The Awful Truth"-Kim Cattrall find it hard to tell her boyfriend that his penis is too small.
  31. Sidewalks of New York-Heather Graham has to deal with her hubby's small penis anxieties.
  32. Something About Mary-various size references.
  33. Steel Magnolias-Julia Roberts, at her wedding reception, laughs and says "yes, I know." When her friend calls her new husband"one big, hangin' man".
  34. The Last Seduction-Linda Fiorentino: several comments.
  35. The Sweetest Thing-Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate and Selma Blair discuss penis size.
  36. To Die For-Nicole Kidman cheats on her husband with a well endowed teenager.
  37. Tomboy-Kristi Somers, in the girl's shower, repeats a rumor about a guy who has a small dick, only to be confronted by the young man who proves that the rumor isn't true at all.
  38. Truth or Dare-Madonna: a number of size references.
  39. Unforgiven-Plot revolves around a cowboy who mutilates a prostitute after she laughs at his small penis.
  40. Whipped-Amanda Peet makes fun of a guy's little dick with some other girls.
  41. Witches of Eastwick-Susan Sarandon, Cher and Michelle Pfieffer discuss penis size.

Now RUN, don't walk to the Yahoo celebrity size queen group.

The accolades are pouring in for the PSLL. Check out this letter:


you have a super site.

can i have more info about penis size from more celebrities and writers.

some info> or sites.

best luck



Thank you so much, Sergiu. I appreciate each and every one of your letters. For more celebrity stuff, check out the previous two letters!

Hi Phallicmaster,

Here are some new polls. I can't get them into the public directory because they are too adult in nature. Please put them on your site if you like them.

This is for women, asking them what they want.

Part two of the previous poll. It asks about angle.

For women, what is the ideal size?

For hung guys, what size do women prefer?

For prostitutes or porn actresses, what is your ideal size?

August 2, 2004, 6:32 p.m.
Hi Phallic Master, i'm a big fan of your Penis Size list. Here is a new link. It is just a beginning, but I hope to collect comments and opinions on size. IF you could. it would be great if you could add me to your big list! Thx!!

Join the Penis Size Debate
Uhhhh, I forget. A while ago.
letter to the Phallic Master about dating

The Phallic Master wrote an email to the webmaster of praising his site. I got an email back that I thought the readers of the PSLL would enjoy. If you have anything to add, go to the message board or email me at

With the permission of Ed at

I'm flattered by your compliments. (...) Your site has been a helpful resource in my research. It also has given me some of the moral support to continue the job during the few times I felt like quitting. At times I hoped that someone had already written a similar work so I could stop, but I knew that if it's not on the PSLL then it doesn't exist. And since I really wanted my kind of ideas to be represented somewhere I had no choice but to continue.

Something else. Beside being very funny, reading your "win a date" section is like seeing my own thoughts about women and dating. The part about ugly women is so true. Myself I'm on the rather handsome side too and sometimes people don't understand how I can go ballistic about some ugly girl. Just a week ago, I saw this ugly girl with a killer body, wearing tight blue-jean shorts and a tiny top revealing her gorgeous tanned stomach and small waist. She is still in my mind.

Also, I agree completely with your opinion about sex on the first date. In fact, I have made it a "TWO STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT!" rule. As you mentioned in a way, the best girls are those who have sex *before* the first date. An ideal scenario for a date is: 1:Meet the girl. 2:Fuck like animals without much talking. 3:THEN go out for dinner and date!

Best of luck with the girls!


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