So, here's the results up to Super Tuesday (excluding George Bush). The Super Tuesday results are percentages of all people who cast a vote for a candidate:
| Results of the PSLL penis size poll | Results of Super Tuesday |
| John Edwards: 14% | John Kerry: 60% |
| John Kerry: 11% | John Edwards: 25% |
| Al Sharpton: 9% | Dennis Kucinich: 5% |
| Howard Dean: 8% | Howard Dean: 4% |
| Wesley Clark: 8% | Al Sharpton: 3% |
| Joe Lieberman: 2% | Joe Lieberman: 1% |
| Dennis Kucinich: 2% | Wesley Clark: 1% |
[Note: George Bush was a part of my poll, but not the Democratic Party's election. That accounts for the numbers in my poll not adding up to 100%.]
As you can see, perceived or actual penis size is important if you want to win elections. I'm a little surprised by the similarity of the results myself. Up to now, no one could explain why Edwards has done so well. The real reason Edwards is doing so well? People think he's hung. If more people got to know him before the election, if he had had more money and publicity, he probably would have won. Same thing with this well-hung Kerry guy. He's obviously pretty big in the pants. No wonder Dean's campaign fizzled. People can somehow sense how big a dick is through the TV, but not the Internet. And that scream! Might as well scream, "I got two inches." Smooth move shrimpy. And don't count out Sharpton. He made a pretty good showing. Not bad for a black guy. But then, he is hung. Lieberman ain't ever going to get anywhere above Senator with his puny equipment. Poor Wesley Clark. Next time, measure your wiener before you run for office.
The only major difference between the polls was with Kucinich. But Al Sharpton, who made a spectacular showing, honestly, wasn't on the ballot in Ohio, Rhode Island, and Vermont. If he had been in those states, I bet Kucinich would've lost some votes to the only other lefty left in the race: Sharpton. Or, to be more accurate, the guy people thought had the biggest schlong after Kerry and Edwards. The real question is how can a guy who obviously has some of the smallest equipment to ever run for presidential office, get so much of the vote? All you small-dicked politicians should study his campaign. Every politician should. He somehow led a lot of people to think his weewee was a bigbig.
Wondering about this very question, how exactly Kucinich can make it seem to the American public that he's packing when he's not, led me to do some research. Check out his Website. The first thing you see is a pic of him and Hollywood bad boy Sean Penn (who we all know has to be hung like a bull elephant to please Madonna's gaping maw). He cultivates the company of men who are well hung! That's how he does it! Be on the lookout for this guy. He's a crafty one. Man, he's got this whole photo gallery with him and Hollywood celebs. You see him with Sean Penn and you're just like yeah, he's at leat a 7 incher. And then you see him with Alicia Silverstone! Whoa moma! You're thinking he's got nine inches in those slacks. But then he fucks it all up with that pic of him and Elliot Gould. Why not just put a red diagonal line through his picture and caption it, "Don't vote for stubby the dwarf!" Holy shit! They could have won this shit! Wow. Expect to see a lot of Kerry and Bush standing next to guys who obviously have giant schlongs. I'm sure they've learned from Kucinich, the master of political penis puffery.
And so, conclusive proof that people vote for who they think has the biggest knob. I'm changing the poll by erasing the candidates who've left. If you voted for one of the small-dicked losers already, then go back and vote again. Just vote for the guy you think has the biggest member. That's all. And really, what else matters?